hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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