So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
