BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
