We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I came so hard my ears popped.
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