I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
