he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
