dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
