Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
hell yes lets make some ravioli
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize