8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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