once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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