yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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