you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Life without a bra equals bliss.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
