she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You smell like stripper and shame
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
