do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
