i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
