yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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