Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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