The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
