I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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