Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She is in my trunk
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
