Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
