It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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