Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
