I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
