Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
