You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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