You can't motorboat a personality
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
