I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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