he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Bring me that man meat
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
