Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
