Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
