Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found puke in my bra..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
