We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
