you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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