Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
