But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
