AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I just sharted jello shots
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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