I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
