Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
