Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
