O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
