I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Boobs speak an international language.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
