A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
