Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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