this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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