My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
