She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize