You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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