that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
