And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
