i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
