using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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