he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
