Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
