best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize