help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize