she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
