at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
