are you still at the devil's house?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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