I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
