Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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