and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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