I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You need Xanax blowdarts
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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